Quick answer: This or that questions for couples are quick two-option picks, like coffee or tea, beach or mountains, talk it out now or cool off first. Answer fast, swap roles after ten, then go back to the answers that surprised you. Below are 95, sorted into everyday, dates, home, travel, relationship habits and long distance.
This or that questions for couples are the speed-dating version of a deep conversation. Two options, two seconds, no explaining. Then you go back and argue about the answers that surprised you.
Here are 95 picks across everyday life, dates, home, travel, relationship habits and long distance. They're quick enough for a road trip or a FaceTime call, and our list of things to do on FaceTime with your partner has more for those calls.
How to play this or that
- One person reads the pair, the other answers instantly. Hesitate longer than two seconds and you lose the point.
- After ten, swap roles.
- Go back and pick the three answers that surprised you most. That's where the conversation starts.
- For a harder version, answer as your partner and see how many you get right.
It works over text, too: send five pairs in one message and ask for the answers in one reply. For longer questions with more room to explain, try our would you rather questions for couples.
Everyday this or that questions
- Coffee or tea
- Morning or night
- Sweet or salty
- Shower in the morning or at night
- Text or call
- Early or right on time
- Window seat or aisle
- Socks in bed or no socks
- Cook or order in
- Paper books or e-books
- Summer or winter
- Messy desk or clean desk
- Big breakfast or skip breakfast
- Playlist or podcast
- Sunrise or sunset
- Pancakes or waffles
- Hot shower or cold shower
- Pen or pencil
- Rain or sunshine
- Stay up late or wake up early
Dates and going out this or that questions
- Dinner out or dinner in
- Movie theater or couch
- Concert or comedy show
- Beach day or city day
- Picnic or rooftop
- Bowling or mini golf
- Fancy restaurant or food truck
- Planned date or surprise date
- Brunch or late-night snacks
- Museum or amusement park
- Karaoke or trivia night
- Wine bar or dive bar
- Escape room or cooking class
- Ice skating or roller skating
- Road trip or flight
Home and lifestyle this or that questions
- City apartment or house in the suburbs
- Dog or cat
- Big party or small dinner
- Minimalist or cozy and cluttered
- Plants everywhere or no plants
- Lights on or candles
- Netflix or YouTube
- Clean as you go or clean all at once
- Hosting or being a guest
- Sleep in or get up and go
- Bath or shower
- Couch nap or bed nap
- Cook together or one person cooks
- Thermostat cooler or warmer
- Mornings slow or mornings busy
Travel this or that questions
- Beach or mountains
- Hotel or Airbnb
- Plan everything or wing it
- Pack light or pack everything
- Road trip or train
- Big city or small town
- Hiking or spa day
- Window seat or aisle
- Summer trip or winter trip
- Famous sights or hidden gems
- Hostel or luxury
- Sunrise hike or sunset dinner
- Camping or glamping
- One long trip or lots of short ones
- Souvenirs or just photos
Relationship habits this or that questions
- Say "I love you" often or show it
- Gifts or experiences
- Surprises or plans
- Talk it out now or cool off first
- Pet names or real names
- Matching outfits or never
- Share passwords or keep them private
- Celebrate anniversaries big or small
- Hand-holding or arm around the shoulder
- Long hugs or forehead kisses
- Love notes or voice notes
- Movie night or game night
- Post couple photos or keep it private
- Double dates or just us
- Big wedding or small wedding
These are the ones worth slowing down on. "Talk it out now or cool off first" is a small question with big consequences in a real argument, and it's much easier to discuss in a game.
Long-distance this or that questions
- Daily calls or a big weekly call
- Text or voice note
- Good-morning text or goodnight call
- Care package or letter
- Fall asleep on the call or hang up
- Watch a show together or play a game together
- Plan the visit or let it happen
- Visit at home or meet somewhere new
- Countdown app or surprise date
- Video call or phone call
- Shared playlist or shared photo album
- Same time zone apart or same city with opposite schedules
- Airport hello or doorstep hello
- Long goodbye or quick goodbye
- Next visit: adventure or do nothing
Once you've settled the daily-call question, try one of the online games for long-distance couples on your next call. They play by link, with nothing to download.
What your answers actually tell you
Most this or that answers don't matter. Nobody's breaking up over pancakes versus waffles. But a few patterns are worth noticing:
- Energy. Morning or night, plan or wing it, big party or small dinner. These say a lot about how you'll want to spend weekends.
- Conflict style. Talking it out now versus cooling off first is one of the most useful things to know about each other.
- Love style. Gifts or experiences, say it or show it. If this interests you, our list of green flags in a relationship is another good conversation starter.
Differences aren't a problem. Knowing about them early is what helps.
Playing this or that on FaceTime
On a video call, the fun is in the reactions. Read the pair, count down from three, and you both say your answer out loud at the same time. Matching answers score a point for the team. Mismatched ones get a ten-second defense from each side, and the most convincing argument wins the round.
Set a timer, go fast, and don't take the pancakes-versus-waffles answer personally.
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