How to Reply to a Wedding Invitation: 24 Accept and Decline Examples

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Nobody is confused about what to say when they're going. "Yes! Wouldn't miss it" writes itself.

The hard replies are the other ones. Saying no to your cousin. Saying no to a destination wedding you can't afford without admitting that's why. Asking whether your partner is invited when the envelope suspiciously didn't mention them. Those are the messages people leave sitting in drafts for nine days.

So here are the actual words, for all of it.

The three rules that cover 90% of it

One: reply either way. RSVP means "please reply," not "please reply if you're coming." A no is a useful answer — it frees up a plate, a chair and a seat at table six. Silence helps nobody. (Full breakdown of what RSVP actually means and where it came from if you want the etymology and the pronunciation.)

Two: reply for exactly who's named. If the invitation says your name only, that's the invitation. Adding a plus-one who wasn't offered puts the couple in a genuinely horrible position — they either eat the cost or have an awkward conversation two weeks before their wedding.

Three: reply by the date, and if you've missed it, reply anyway — today. Late is recoverable. Never is not.

If you're going

Keep it short and warm. This does not need to be a paragraph.

Formal / traditional:

Mr. and Mrs. James Whitfield accept with pleasure your kind invitation for Saturday, the fourteenth of March.

We are delighted to accept and look forward to celebrating with you both.

Standard:

Yes! Both of us will be there. Thank you so much for including us — we're so happy for you.

Counting me in. Congratulations to you both, this is such lovely news.

We'll be there — all four of us, kids included, as offered. Thank you for thinking of us.

Casual / to a close friend:

Obviously yes. I've already started thinking about the outfit. Congratulations!!

YES. Booked the flights this morning. See you in March.

In. Absolutely in. Tell me what you need from me.

With the extra detail hosts actually want:

Yes for both of us. One vegetarian (me), one who'll eat anything (him). Can't wait.

That last one is quietly the best reply on this list. If there's a meal choice or a dietary question on the RSVP, answer it in the same message. Hosts spend hours chasing that information separately.

If you're not going

The instinct is to over-explain. Resist it. A short, warm decline reads as sincere. A long one reads like a cover story, even when it's completely true.

Formal:

Mr. and Mrs. James Whitfield regret that they are unable to accept your kind invitation for Saturday, the fourteenth of March.

We're so sorry to miss it. Thank you for thinking of us, and every good wish to you both.

Standard:

I'm so sorry, I won't be able to make it. Thank you for the invitation — I'm genuinely thrilled for you both and will be thinking of you that day.

Sadly we can't be there. We'd love to take you for dinner when you're back from the honeymoon.

We're away that weekend and can't move it. Gutted to miss it. Congratulations to you both.

When it's the cost, and you don't want to say so:

I'm so sorry — I'm not able to travel this year. I'll be raising a glass from here. Congratulations, both of you.

Nobody is entitled to your finances, and "I'm not able to travel" is a complete sentence. Any couple worth attending a wedding for will accept it without follow-up questions.

When it's family and it'll be discussed at length regardless:

I've tried every way to make it work and I can't get there. I'm really sorry. I'd love to see you both properly before or after — tell me when works and I'll come to you.

The offer at the end is the part that defuses it. You're declining the event, not the relationship.

When you're on the fence and the deadline is here:

I want to come but I'm waiting on leave approval. Can I confirm by the 12th? If that's too late for your numbers, put me down as a no and I'll be delighted to be wrong.

Give a date. Always give a date. "Let me get back to you" with no timeline is how people end up chasing you, and chasing non-responders is its own miserable job that you'd rather not be the cause of.

If you're the one sending invitations

Reading all of that and thinking "this is why half my guests haven't replied" — you're right, and it's largely fixable in the wording. Vague RSVP instructions produce vague results, and there's a full set of RSVP wording that actually gets answers with the specific lines that reduce chasing.

The other half of the fix is the mechanism. A phone number asks a guest to make a call; a link asks them to tap once. If you'd rather every reply landed in one list instead of across sixty separate chats, a free RSVP link handles the collecting and gives you a live headcount you can export for the caterer.

Reply to the one sitting in your phone right now. You know the one.